Saturday, March 5, 2011

God's Love Is Enough

Today it has been one year since my fiancé broke up with me. I’m not going to lie, this past year has been incredibly, incredibly painful. I’ve probably cried more in this one year than I have in my entire life. I’ve had to deal with so many ugly feelings of hurt, despair, pain, betrayal, anger, hopelessness, bitterness, regret, sadness, rejection, and insecurity. And a lot of times, it’s all of those feelings at once. I am still feeling the pain. I’m in a constant battle trying not to believe the lies that the enemy has brought. The feelings of inadequacy, the voice in my head that tells me I am not worthy of love, that it is my fault that the people I give my heart to and trust end up leaving me.

But throughout it all God has been my rock and my JOY. It’s like the “Footprints in the Sand” analogy; God has been there all along carrying me through the worst of times. This time of trials has allowed my Lord and Savior to draw me closer to Him than He ever has before. It has been a year of great growth for me and I am discovering little by little who I am in God’s eyes. If I could give a quote for this past year it would be “God’s love is enough”. It’s something that He keeps whispering to me when I feel hopeless, “My love is enough, I am all that you need.” And it is so true; His love will always be enough. No matter what happens or where I go, He is always waiting there for me with open arms, loving me despite my flaws and failures.

Right now I am slowly learning how to forgive someone for such deep hurts even when they aren’t sorry because that is what forgiveness is about. Forgiveness shouldn’t be based on anyone else’s actions or inactions; it should come for no other reason then that God calls us to forgive. For myself, I’m finding that it isn’t a one time thing, but rather a constant process of forgiving.
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
My daily prayer is that God will give me the strength to forgive and let go of the anger and hurt I have in my heart, to love as He loves.

I am so excited for what God is doing in my life and how He is using me to serve others. He has brought up so many different opportunities for me and I am constantly blessed by how good He is. I am so thankful for the people He has put in my life, both old and new and I am looking forward to seeing all that God has for me in my life and where He will lead me! :)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel! You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, and shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice.” Jeremiah 31: 3-4 (NKJ)

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